Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Is This Thing On?

The best way for us to begin is as we mean to go on. First, we'll tell you who we are, for context. Then we'll talk about why we wanted to do this thing, for purpose. Finally, we'll show you what we're dealing with right this minute. 

My name is Morwyn. I'm the reasonably healthy one. I'll be the main voice of the blog, as I describe what life is like with Asa, and eventually what it's like without him. I'm 63 & I own a used bookstore in the Southwest. I have a daughter who lives in the Midwest with her SO, and a son who lives with his wife and their two boys, also in the Midwest. When I'm not working, I'm spending time with Asa, either running errands or kicking back at home, watching movies, reading, talking politics, or making art.

Asa, AKA Michael, is my husband. He was diagnosed with Hepatitis C almost 30 years ago, and they figured he'd contracted it at least 10 years prior to that. No one can say for sure how it happened. And the how is not important or relevant, really. Up until last year he was an endurance cyclist who was always in great shape. He's undergone two rounds of treatment for the Hep C in which he experienced every negative side effect with the exception of death. In the early 70's he suffered a major physical trauma. During Army basic training, he tore the ligaments in both knees. Over the long years, they've worn to the point he has no cartilage left in either. It's the primary source of his chronic pain. He's what they call a non-viable candidate for surgery these days (severe anemia), so no knee replacement for him.  A few years ago he had a pace-maker installed. We were also told that without a liver transplant (which is out of the question for SO many reasons) his time would be coming to an end sooner, rather than later. Of course, they told us this several years ago. We credit the fact that he's still above ground with his intelligent diet, his physical conditioning, his terrific doctors, his amazing acupuncturist, and the love and support of *ahem* the BEST WIFE IN THE UNIVERSE.

We met in 1996, both of us working in a bookstore. By May of the following year, we were hand fasted. In July of '97 we took over a (literally) burned-out used bookstore and brought it back to life together. We've been partners in business, in life, and in love ever since. We were legally married in May of . . . cripes, I keep forgetting . . . was it 3 or 4 years ago now? He's retired on full disability now, and megalomaniac that I am, I get to run around yelling, "I'm in charge!  I'M IN CHARGE!" Not that it really means anything.

We wanted to create this blog/journal for people going through a similar transition in their lives - but from a non-religious, chaos-theory, #LetsMakeTheMostOfWhatWeYetMaySpend point of view. So much of what we've read is NOT this. We've gone through all the stages of grief already. I'll most likely go through a few of them again when the time comes. In the meantime, we're finding a lot that makes us happy, in spite of the limited activity, the limited diet, and what some may perceive as a limited existence. Life is STILL good. We still laugh. We realized, just recently, we're coming to an end with this current chapter. We want to remember this time, and leave ourselves a record of it. 

This is where we are right this minute:

I'm not going to tell you all that this looks worse than it is. In fact, it's worse than it looks. 

In future posts, we'll do some 'this was our day' entries. Maybe some reminiscing. Most likely some bitching. Once in a while we'll do some celebrating.  
WARNING: Sometimes we use 'bad swears.' This is not the place to praise Jeebus. We spend ZERO time wondering/bewailing 'WHY ME.' We're not looking for advice. In fact, we hates it. We won't be giving any advice, either. We'll just be showing you how we're getting through this bitch. 

Thanks for reading this far, and we hope you'll stick around for more.