Sunday, August 11, 2013


Asa's losing weight every day. Like he's leaving us a pound at a time.
His energy is a little less every day.
He has no more 'good days.' As he put it, he has 'less shitty' days.
His pain gets stronger, his sleep is often shallow, napping is more frequent.
His appetite waxes and wanes. There's so little he can have to eat - I mean how many ways can you use tuna fish or peanut butter and jelly? Zero sodium is so hard to work around.
UPDATE: We have discovered the joys of Mr Spice!! More on that another day.

His doctor wants him to stop drinking coffee. This is hard, as he only discovered Starbucks last year. Sure, there are a lot of wonderful decaf teas available, but we all know that's not the same.

A few weeks ago we were cruising around town, doing our errands. I was driving for a change, as he hadn't slept well (taking sleeping pills in combination with his pain meds made him really groggy).  We were at a stop light, and rather than obsess over my somewhat rusty skill behind the wheel, he decided to have a conversation. "I feel like there's this hole in my life and I don't know why."

I said, "I know why. We've been living in tiny apartments for the last 8 years and you can't have a dog. You love dogs. Your knees are totally shot now and you can't ride your bike ever again. You LOVED riding. Your diet is so restrictive now you can't eat at any of your favorite restaurants or eat bacon anymore and you loved bacon. OF COURSE THERE'S A HOLE IN YOUR LIFE. So we have to find new things for you to enjoy, new ways to get through this bitch, that's all." We haven't found a substitute for dogs or cycling, but we've at least discovered it's possible for us to eat at Panda Express, by combing through their online menu's nutrition guide. YAY

Things have progressed very quickly to the point where I am the driver most of the time.  For now, Asa will drive only when he's fully rested. And glory be - he slept like a log last night! This was a combination of his prescribed sleeping aid with melatonin - no groggies.  He'll drive us around on our errands this morning - and, as he said, "We'll know if this was a good idea if we die in ball of fire."

On that cheery note,  we're off to the grocery store. We're out of jelly and tuna.