"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a Ride!'"
Hunter S Thompson.
We think he's come pretty close to realizing this.
Do you have any idea how many blogs are out there written by and in support of people who are dealing with clinical depression? Me neither.
I went through something I was told was a period of depression - but when I compare it to all the stuff I read on those blogs - I don't think what I had was depression. I was sad, really sad, and I felt helpless and hopeless and trapped and suicidal and alone, but the thing is - I had every right to feel that way. I was in a world-class shit marriage and could not see my way out with no support system in place and no decent job. After six months of psychotherapy without drugs, I realized what I needed to do and I set to work on doing it. I got out of that marriage when I felt safe enough, and confident enough, and able enough. As soon as I was free, I knew my own strength and I wasn't sad any more. Knowledge is power, and confidence. It's possible to be really sad and find your way out of it.
I've been really sad lately, but I know what to do to work my way through it. I know what's coming and I know what to do to cope with it. I have the skills, I have the tools, and I have the will to get through it. Whenever I feel the fear, I let it move on through me and learn everything I can about whatever it is that makes me afraid and it's shining the flashlight under the bed. No monsters. I'm making art, mainly for myself, and I love it. And that gives me strength. And I take my strength and share it with Asa, so that he's free to be as sad as he wants, whenever he wants, for as long as he needs.
And then we move on together.