Every single day brings a new challenge, a new hurdle, the next milestone.
For the past three days when Asa awakes in the morning, he looks at me and says, "I love you."
Last night he experienced a stabbing pain that woke him up after only being asleep for an hour. The nurses had given me prior instructions if this should happen, so I gave him extra pain medication and he was calm, but the pain wasn't going away. I called the nurse for suggestions. I explained he'd been eating about a cup of solid food every day, but that he had been constipated since last Friday, passing only clear water. She checked with the doctor, who gave me the go-ahead to give more pain meds incrementally over the course of an hour and if it eased the pain, we'd talk about what to do in the morning - probably an enema. His pain subsided substantially after two more doses and around 1 in the morning he went deeply asleep, waking around 7:30. He was clear with very little pain, and as it turned out - no longer constipated. He was more relieved about avoiding the enema that he was about being out of pain, I suspect.
Oh - while we were waiting for the nurse to call us back with the doctor's instructions, Asa asked me to be sure to clock him out before everyone got there. I promised I would. More cosmic improv.
We had our tea and coffee and talked about what to make for breakfast. He settled on a spinach/onion/mozzarella omelet with hash browns. He asked me if I was going to buy a new bedspread and what color was I thinking about. We talked about my "craft hole" cleaning project, and possibly getting new storage drawers for the big rack in the kitchen. He finished his morning pills and promptly crashed back asleep.
We now have a CNA (certified nursing assistant) who comes to help Asa with his personal hygiene stuff three days a week. He is wonderful, and has made this next phase of care much more bearable. Asa's abilities and his world itself is diminishing daily, and I'm in constant awe of the grace and grit of his acceptance of each new (unpleasant) reality.
How quickly it's all happening. And yet it feels like slow motion some days.
We talked about how the temperatures should be gorgeous this weekend. He said this would be a good time for him to go, as we'd have such nice weather for it.
My funny valentine.